Empty Nest Syndrome

Up until today, I have been SERIOUSLY looking forward to having both of my kids in full day school, as evidenced by my summertime Love Letter post. Now that the coundown is on and I see the light at the end of the tunnel, I’m starting to get uneasy…

What if I get Empty Nest Syndrome (ENS)? Is there any way that ENS symptoms could include:

– tears of joy

– sighs of relief

– quiet enjoyment

– uninterrupted deep thoughts

– only fleeting thoughts about the children during the day

– an elated giggle while I settle in with a cup of coffee to do WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT TO DO?!

If these were the symptoms, then I would surely welcome ENS. However, I fear that these are NOT the symptoms. Now I am worried that I will feel:

– tears of sadness

– empty hours

– purposelessness

– worried about my youngest being bullied at recess

– inadequate for not finding a daytime job right away

– guilt for not buying them any back-to-school clothes or supplies

– regret for not having enjoyed every second of having them at home with me for these past years

– horror when I realize that I have no excuse for not listening to my husband and *gasp* actually having to spend time alone with him – what if we find we don’t LIKE each other?! EEK!

I fully expected to leave my children at school and do cartwheels all the way home, but now I’m not so sure… I won’t have any bums to wipe, no fights to break up, no play dates to arrange, no food to prepare, no toys to pick up, no questions to answer. Instead I will have hours and hours to do paperwork, write, clean, relax, solve the ZFX … and FEEL GUILTY!!!

If you have any words of wisdom, please let me know…