Navigation Menu+

Park your truck, you lazy f**k!

Posted on Jan 4, 2016

I am lucky to live close enough to my kids’ school to be able to walk them there. Sometimes I drive because I’ve got somewhere to go after I drop them off, but I always, ALWAYS park a block away from the school and walk with them to class. Once my youngest is old enough to walk on his own, I will simply drop them off a block away and trust that they are capable enough to find their way. It’s one block. One. Block. I think they’ve got this…

As my kids and I walked the final block to school this morning, I noticed some hubbub on the street right in front of the school. One parent was honking at another parent who had stopped at the crosswalk to let some kids cross the road. The other driver got out and said “what’s your problem?!” in a tone which I think I might have used myself, had I been in that situation. The other driver yelled back something that I didn’t catch, but probably¬†others heard it.

It was a mild case of road rage, and a completely inappropriate display in front of small children. I don’t know how to explain this interaction to my kids! It was rudeness, inconsideration, and ridiculousness all rolled into one. So I did what I always do: I wrote a poem about it! It’s some advice for¬†those people that insist on driving right in front of the school, especially those that stop just to let their kids out.


The street beside the school

Is once again clogged with cars.

Let your kids out one street over,

Let them walk – it’s not that far!


The person dropping off

Doesn’t have to get out.

And the kids need fresh air

And exercise, no doubt.


Don’t stop on the road

So your kids can hop out.

You’re blocking the street,

What’s THAT about?!


If you need to watch

Your kids enter the school

To ease your worries

I understand; that’s cool.


Park over a block

Get out and walk.

Take that 2 minutes

And have a talk.


Connect with your kid

Before they’re gone all day

Even if you’re in a rush.

Trust me, it’ll pay!


But of course the little ones

Need to be walked to their room.

What’s an extra block?

Is it too strenuous for you?


Then maybe it’s time

To make another arrangement,

So kids can start their day

With calm and encouragement.


Stressing about driving and parking

Stresses your kids out too.

Your mood influences theirs,

They feed off of you!


Don’t honk at others

Who are doing the same as you.

Each is as bad as the next.

“Do as I say, not as I do!”


Being pushy

Teaches your kids it’s okay

To inconvenience others

To get their own way.


Imagine if the school,

Wisely and without warning,

Blocked the streets around it

For an hour each morning.


Mayhem would erupt

And they’d make a big fuss,

But then they’d grow up

And like adults, they’d adjust.


Park your car one street over,

There’s really no excuse.

Get out and walk with your kid

You lazy-assed douche!