My name is Anne and I’m a contestaholic.
(Everybody: “Hi Anne.”)
Thank you for giving me this safe place to share my struggle. It’s been 1 day since my last dialling.
I haven’t felt that winners’ high for over 6 months now. Sadly, it’s not been by choice. I’ve tried and tried and tried, but I’ve had no luck. It’s been a forced abstinence.
This past summer I was clean for many weeks, 6 I think. I didn’t even try calling in with my cell phone. I spent more time with my family, organized my home, signed up for some stuff, and kept on top of things I usually let slide. I was present. My family was happy. It was wonderful.
It was easy, those 6 weeks. The kids were out of school, we were busy. The routine had changed and I didn’t have any time alone to think about contests. But when September came and the kids were back at school, I found myself with time to spare.Time to scroll Facebook and Twitter. Time to read the contest pages. All the big contests started up again and I got sucked back in.
At first I would only try to call in for ZFX, thinking I could handle just an occasional attempt. After all, what’s one contest when at my worst I was calling in for 30 different cues each day?
Soon I found myself dabbling in Beat the Bank. Not all the time, mostly just in the mornings (when the biggest jackpots are usually available.) But occasionally I would try at 11 and 4, like before.
Once Splash or Cash started, I was getting hooked again. I could feel the adrenaline rushing as my fingers frantically dialled. I got my landline hooked up again (Telus fibre optik, which sucks!) At one point I even set up the Fongo on my iPad again but that proved to be too much for me – I’d get confused about the busy signals and disconnect from the wrong phone.
Today I have been free from phoning for one whole day. My last attempt was on Friday, when for the first time this season I actually got through for something. I was the right caller for ZFX’s double play Friday. I didn’t even have a guess, I just wanted a chance to play! ARGH!! As usual, I made a complete ass of myself. *sigh*
No contests = no foolishness.
No contests = free time
No contests = no pressure
No contests = no vacation
No contests = no money
No contests = no concerts
I know I don’t have to tell you all because you of all people understand. You get me. You know the struggle.
Thanks for listening. Shall we hold hands and do the Serenity Prayer now?
“God grant me the serenity to accept the contests I can’t win, the courage to try to win if I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Amen.