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Chronicles of Reason

Posted on Mar 23, 2018

When I was 16, reason said, “You can’t drop out of school! You’re just a child!”

I said, “Pfft, I can so.” And I did.


When I was 17, reason said, “You can’t move to a different country. Stay with your parents!”

I said, “Ha!” And flew to the other side of the world by myself.


When I was 18, reason said, “You can’t go back to high school! You’re too old!”

I said, “Yes I can.” And I graduated at 19.


When I was 19, reason said, “Nobody will hire you.”

I said, “I’m hungry.” And I went out and got a job. Got fired. Got another job. Got fired. Got another job.


When I was 20, reason said, “You are going to starve.”

I said, “I can do better.” And I panhandled. I stood in line at a food bank. I ate.


When I was 21, reason said, “Stay with him. He’s a good man.”

I said, “But I’m not happy.” And I left.


When I was 23, reason said, “You can’t go to college! You’re poor!”

I said, “But I’m smart!” I got student loans and finished 2 diplomas and a degree.


When I was 26, reason said, “Don’t have unprotected sex.”

I said, “It won’t happen to me.” And it did. And I had an abortion.


When I was 30, reason said, “Marry him! It’ll be a good life.”

I said, “But I’m not happy.” And I left.


When I was 32, reason said, “You’re homeless. Quit school and get a job.”

I said, “But I have more to learn.” And I couch-surfed. I lived with friends.


When I was 33, reason said, “You’re failing. Look at you. You’re poor and still in school.”

I said, “But I’m hungry.” And I took off my clothes for money and filled my belly.


When I was 36, reason said, “See? You should’ve stayed with him. Now you’re alone.”

I said, “I’m going to keep looking.” And I kissed a lot of frogs. Then I found him.


When I was 39, reason said, “You’re too old to have children.”

I said, “Watch me.” And I made a child.


When I was 43, reason said, “Now you’re definitely too old to make babies. Genesis clinic even said so!”

I said, “Hold my beer.” And I made another baby.


When I was 45, reason said, “You are poor. Go get a job.”

I said, “I want to raise my children.” So I played radio contests for money.


When I was 49, reason said, “You’ll never get through for ZFX.”

I said, “I’m going to keep trying.” And I did. And I won $12,000.


When I was 50, reason said, “You can’t write a book.”

I said, “But I have a story to tell.” And I did.


Now that I’m 51, reason keeps whispering, “Just give up. You’ll never win.”

I get right up close to reason so it can feel my hot breath on it’s face, I look it dead in the eyes and I whisper back defiantly, “fuck you.”


I will never quit. Don’t you ever quit.